Tuesday 25 September 2007

Its been a while

Its been so long since I put anything up, that I wouldn't be surprised if no one is still reading. Sorry.

Okay, to catch up. When last you visited, I had just been told that the tumour seemed to have vanished, a most unusual result for such an easy time in the chemo cycle. Since then, the chemo has just been a chore - something to be tolerated, rather than a positive force for good!! So I have just settled into a routine. Interestingly, the impact of the chemo has been a little worse each time - the effects are clearly cumulative. I feel like crap for a little longer after each "big hit" (next one this Thursday) with symptoms of nausea and an urge to vomit (unresolved, fortunately). Then feeling pretty low for now more than an additional week at a time, followed by another week in which I just feel very ordinary. Hmmmm.

The other big bit of news is that I had to be taken off the 5FU last Friday, just one day into it. Apparently, my bloods were marginal on Wednesday. On Thursday afternoon the left side of my face blew up like a watermelon: its called mucousitis, or inflammation of the mucous membranes in the mouth. Its been pretty ordinary until yesterday, when it started to go down. Today, back to 95% normal. Added to that is the mild dose of conjunctivitis I've had (unrelated, I think) and a constantly dripping nose, and its an attractive picture!!! Bloods again tomorrow: here's hoping they're back to normal, and the "big hit" goes ahead as scheduled on Thursday.

One thing I've decided to do is to take sick leave for the duration of the chemo. As I've been justifying it, I haven't been completing or achieving much lately, and I feel that I've been letting people down. Now at least, they won 't have any expectations of me, so it will be difficult to let them down. Having made the decision, my stress levels dived! Having said that, I went down to Melbourne overnight for a presentation at a Defence conference today. Did I mention that I get tired easily? Any real or sustained effort knocks me pretty flat.

Added to all that is that we're preparing the house for sale (it goes on the market on 6 October, auction on 27 October). So I really have been as useless as the proverbials on a bull! Much thanks to family and friends for covering for me, and being so pleasant as they "carry" me through the whole clean up and clear away process.

"Dancing with the Stars" is nearing its end tonight, so time to finish up. I'm back into this, so over the next month, I want to chat about some of the impacts of this whole thing - on me and others. I will be discussing spirituality, positivity, quackery, and why I've decided not to do the Ian Gawler thing. Things could get ugly, but you have been warned.

Oh, and one other thing. The two favourite speakers at last year's EXPAND conference (Michael Milton and me) have gone down with cancer. Does this mean that working with EAs is dangerous?